Like most of you in this world, I always wondered how does it feel to be in love. Before I share my opinion on this, let me tell you who I am. I was raised in a midtown in South India with a freedom of choice and my parents never interfered in the choices I made. While helicopter parenting was so common during the 80s and 90s, should I say I was lucky? During my teenage I have heard from few of my friends that their parents use to control them in every aspect of life. Well, control isn’t the right word, I would say they over-watch-their-kids. I understand that guidance is important, but the more someone control their kids, the more their kids are intended to break the rules in the outside world. And of course, my friends who had so many restrictions, were really mischievous when they were outside of home. Given the freedom of choice, there is a high risk that we tend to pick bad over good and wrong over right.
Our life sometimes invisibly sculptured by friends around us. During our teenage, we spend a lot of time with friends more than spending time with our parents, didn’t we?. Also 90s kids had such different meaning for friendship. We were having real life conversations more than likes, pokes, tags, shares, tweets, hashtags, tik-toks etc., Basically it was the pre-internet era. I strongly believe that the best bond sparks more when you sit inside a room with a group of friends and talk about everything under the sun. While technology on one side is helping to achieve the mighty, on the other side it is tickling the right nerve in each one of us to be lazy and sometimes go crazy (did you recently look at comments in YouTube videos).
We all came into this world with some natural elements and then with a mixture of nurturing from our parents and friends we grow up to someone who we partially recognize at any given point. I understand that there are so many other factors like environment, culture, language, education, media and so on., plays some vital role too. What I shared here are just the top two influencers with respect to my life. And then there is a third important catalyst that shaped my personality. That is music. I grew up listening to a lot of Tamil (a language from India) music. Tamil music is primarily movie driven. It is only now we see a lot of Pop culture, Unplugged YouTube music channels in Tamil but earlier the situation was different, during 80s and 90s, music from movies reached each and every other town via AM/FM Radio stations. In Tamil music, I particularly love those metaphors in the lyrics. Not sure if it is just me who has the habit of get-into-the-mood-of-the-song-I-listen. The more I like a song, the more I can’t concentrate on anything else other than listening to it with all my heart. When your parents and friends have some limits in educating you what love is (at least during 90s), I found a world in song lyrics which gave me more than just a glimpse of love between two souls. Yes, I have learned (and still learning) about love from so many Tamil songs. While people read books to explore love, I think, I chose music, which is a kind of right choice for a lazy person like me.
For every love song I listened in the past, I used to imagine singing it to the love of my future life (I am married now and have a son who just turned one) and also be a part of that song. Crazy, isn’t it? I don’t over-do-it or strain myself to go through such emotions. Such imagination comes so naturally and once the song is over I will get back to reality within seconds. During my early 20s I strongly believed that I would fall in love with a person and cross oceans to win her heart. Being a person who won’t easily settle for love, I was more like a four-months-of-crush-and-then-move-on guy. I stayed with few friends in an Apartment and we had so much fun which swallowed some good young years. It was so easy to stay single and not go in pursuit of love. Everything went fair and smooth until end of 2013. I realized something, it stuck my mind that I couldn’t remember anything I did for myself in the last 7 years. Insane, isn’t it! I was either at work or in the Apartment with friends. It just blew me away. Just to make 2014 memorable, I came up with some goals for myself. I decided to pick few goals each month and followed it strictly. I happily following my goals along with my daily routine which didn’t change much from last year anyways. And then, there are so many different memories other than my goals and I may never forget 2014 because of what I am going to share now.
In April 2014, I happen to meet her through our mutual friend and it was in the office cafeteria. “Two perfect strangers till that very moment had their first conversation”. And then there were conversations and then there were conversations. No cheesy lines, no flirting, no pick up lines, all we talked about were some random things under the sun. We became good friends in first few months. You know, just by looking at me you can tag me as “oh-him?, it-takes-3-minutes-to-put-him-in-the-friend-zone”. Yeah, That easy! The irony is, when I met her, I didn’t have any crush on her. We were just good friends. But what happened in my unconscious mind is still unbelievable, it gathered all the best things I needed from a girl, it did some high level permutations and combinations, it acknowledged her attitude towards the world. BOOM. It finally realized that she is the perfect mix of all the best things I gathered from those girls I had crush in the past. Back then, I consciously didn’t know that I loved her. I proposed her my love in a day on where I was 0% prepared or the best way to put is, I didn’t even know that I would propose her on that day.
She is a city born girl who has a tremendous taste in music. Music taste – check. She values friendship and is so genuine to her friends. Values friendship – check. She is adventures and has a lot of aspirations. She always get what she wants and works so smart towards her goal. Way of thinking – check. Okay, let us wrap up the sales part of this relationship. After-all sales is all about showing the best thing you have in a product and not the flaws.
Couple of years into our relationship, here are the key differences between us. She is a social butterfly and I am an introvert elephant (later I figured that she is not as social as I thought). She talks to people with ease, while I hesitate a little before I make a conversation. She attends a lot of college parties and unplanned set of events at least every week, while I go to some dinner with office colleagues once in a month. She packs her bags and makes a suddenly-planned-trip to a new state in the East coast, while I give stupid reasons to my friends that I am not joining the Malibu trekking plan. She gets angry when I do something wrong and expects me to be angry when she is wrong, I use give that neutral reaction to whatever the situation may occur (we are 6 years into this relationship and now things have changed, I do get angry when she is wrong). She advices me to follow my dreams, and I sit in the couch and watch Impractical jokers in YouTube and laugh out loud. I tell her life is simple and my idea is to spend it with loved ones, she tells me to cut the crap and do something out of my comfortable zone. Sometimes I am lazy to move between work room and the kitchen (most of the time to get my coffee), meanwhile she plans to see the entire world with me. I like rom-com genre, she likes documentary. I like to write, she likes to read. I give her choices, she insists me to make the decision whatsoever.
Despite the differences, we both are going through this emotional roller coaster ride called Love. This isn’t the love that I was thought through the songs I listened in the past. This is somewhere in between my dreams and reality. This love is simply making each of our flaws disappear like the dew from morning sun rays (our flaws aren’t disappearing these days but then love is keeping us together)!
PS: I wrote this blog back in in 2016 and republishing with some edits.